You should cry about
Is that ice cream you dropped when you were 5
And the beauty of your wedding cake
But now you associate food with calories
And calories with self worth
So now you cry about food because you know you need it
But you can’t eat it
because the higher your calorie count
The lower your self worth
You need to remember that calories are merely the energy
Used for you to
study for finals
Say I do
Walk down the aisle
smile at your newborn baby
So next time you are crying about food
realize that food is life
But life is so much more than food
There are so many fruits you haven’t tasted
so many beautiful songs you have not discovered
spices you’ve never heard of
and intriguing conversations you haven’t had
there are oceans you have not felt
and plants you’ve never seen
books you’ve never read
and souls your heart has not touched
this Earth is incredible.
An eating disorder isn’t about losing weight. It’s about losing who you were, who you are and being taken over by something evil. It’s so fast it’s not even a spiral, it’s a black hole. And suddenly you forget what you liked to do in your free time. You forget who your friends were. You forget what music you like. Because everything revolves around the eating disorder. Everything is by the eating disorder, for the eating disorder. It has stolen you. It has stolen not only your body, but you mind.
And one day, you remember you like art, and you feel happy.
The next day, you remember what your favorite painting was, and you smile.
Then the next, you’re recreating the painting.
And suddenly you come back, and Ed disappears.
And it feels so damn good.
You’re going to be okay.
Maybe he doesn’t love you. Maybe he doesn’t even like you. Fuck him, then. You deserve better. It hurts now, and it’s gonna hurt for a while. It’s gonna hurt to listen to those fourteen tracks he put on your mix tape. It’s gonna hurt to look at him. It’s gonna hurt to hear his name. But one day, it’ll start to hurt a little less. You’ll realize he wasn’t the one for you. You’re going to be okay.
Maybe you didn’t get picked for the job. Maybe you weren’t even considered. Fuck them, then. You’re going to go further. It stings now, and it’s gonna sting for a while. It’s gonna hurt your wallet. It’s gonna hurt your pride. It’s gonna hurt your ego. But one day, it’ll stop stinging. You’ll realize it wasn’t the job for you. You’re going to be okay.
Maybe you didn’t get accepted. Maybe you weren’t even waitlisted. Fuck that college, then. You’re going to make something of yourself without them. It hurts now, and it’s gonna hurt for a while. It’s gonna hurt to see your best friend admitted. It’s gonna hurt to drive by that campus. It’s gonna hurt to see her get so excited to go, and leave you behind. But one day, it’ll start to hurt a little less. You’ll realize it wasn’t the place for you. You’re going to be okay.
I know it’s hard to believe, but you’re going to be okay. Keep your head up- or don’t. Struggle to keep going and barely get by. That’s okay. You’re going to make it either way. You’re going to be okay.